Everything

I never tire of the Lord revealing the parallels between my relationship with Him, and my relationship with my babies. Sometimes they’re so clear, that I’m astonished it took me so long to see them.

The past few years have been rocky at best. Some of my blackest days occurred as recently as 10 months ago. The past few weeks have been considerably less dark, but very anxious and stress-filled. As I type this, I can literally feel the huge knots that have cemented themselves into my shoulders and neck. Not a healthy way to live. I’ve lost sleep and skipped meals as burden upon burden has entangled my soul. Ick. Have I pressed into the Lord for His strength and guidance? Given Him the anxieties he promises to take off my shoulders? Have I done all I can to remain in constant contact with the Creator of the universe? Not even close.

My sweet Jake will be 15 months in a couple of days. This baby is the epitome of joy. And I’m not just saying that because I’m his mother. Strangers can’t help but smile when they make eye contact with him. He exudes peace, tranquility and happiness. He hasn’t a worry in the world.

But Jake doesn’t sleep through the night. Never has. He still nurses and wakes up a few times a night to cuddle. I’ve never let him cry it out, never left him to soothe himself back to sleep. Am I crazy, wouldn’t I enjoy a full night of rest? Absolutely! But this is such a short, blink of a season. My desire to comfort for Jake overrides my desire for sleep.

In one form or another, we are connected on a continual basis. He knows me so well that even if we’re not in the same room, he still knows I’m here. He’s memorized the sound of my footsteps, the pitch of my voice, rhythm of my breath, the scent of my skin. If he needs me, he’s determined to search until I’m found. He comes to me with and for everything. Sometimes he needs me to feed him, calm his fears, wipe his tears or sing him to sleep. Even in the midst of him playing with his siblings, he’ll often crawl over to where I am, get in my lap, rest his head on my chest and just smile. He only stays for a minute, then crawls back to play again. He just desires for us to be close, if even for a second. Jake has no doubt that he is adored, treasured and loved. He trusts me for all of his needs, 100% of the time. As long as he has me, he has everything he needs to be completely content.

How might the last few years look different if I had that same dependence upon the Lord? If I stayed connected to Him on a continual basis through reading and prayer? If I took everything to Him instead of keeping it to myself? If I really believed how much He adores, treasures and loves me? Oh, how my days would sing a different song if I lived as though nothing + Jesus= everything.

Jake lives an absolutely satisfied life. He is never left wanting or thirsting for more. The Lord promises me the same experience when I truly trust Him. Praying He give me the ability to do so.

Jesus said to her, ”Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.  John 4:13-14

Seven

Noah, the oldest of my three sons, turned seven this week. Seven. Before he was born, I was so terrified I wouldn’t be able to love him like his sister, so fearful that I didn’t have enough to give a second child. Then I met him, and my heart instinctively doubled in size. I adored Ella, but the precious bond between a Momma and her son is so different.  There’s something delicately charming about the way a mini-man needs and loves his Momma. It’s indescribable, and I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with 3 of them.

Noah is so much like his Daddy. He’s fearless and bold, often times wanting to challenge the world around him. He’s silly, but meticulous, and loves investigating every element of something. He’s also tender and warm, loves hugs and kisses, cuddling and holding hands. He stands up for his siblings and helps them when called for. He loves to love.

But he also resembles me. He’s into art and music and only loves coloring pages that have “lots of tiny details.” He enjoys painting and sculpting, listening to classical and jazz. For his birthday party, he specifically requested that we listen to salsa. He loves watching me cook, and keeps begging me to let him help. I need to start. He’s such a beautiful combination of his parents, and I’m so blessed to be his Momma.

My toothless Noah.

He requested homemade strawberry cupcakes. I made a strawberry cream cheese frosting and topped them with fresh strawberries. I love that he didn't mind them being pink.

May the Lord bless his 8th year.

Wonders

The world is often times a discouraging place. Even when certain absolute truths reign in your soul, lies attempt to infiltrate constantly. They’re often so well disguised, that if you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself beginning to believe them. They’ll come from the best sources, new angles or at just the right time to create the most damage. Don’t let them.

The past couple of months, I’ve been pouring myself into being a better Momma to my babies. So much, in fact, that I’ve been the most exhausted I’ve ever been in my entire life. Do I regret it? Of course not. My babies have had some incredible moments and we’ve all created some precious memories. I thank the Lord for giving me fresh, creative ideas and enough strength to power through and get them done. I’m still so very far from fully embracing the woman He’s called me to be, but I’m getting there. I was encouraged, which is an amazingly refreshing place to be, considering the intense darkness that’s surrounded me the past 3 years.

Then today, someone calls into question the amount of effort I give to my family. “If you just put forth a little more effort…” they critiqued. “If you don’t, you’ll regret it someday. Your son might grow up wondering why you didn’t…” and the lies begin to flood my mind. My brain instantly begins to replay what I’ve done and haven’t done as a mother the last 8 years, pulling from its archives any situation that previously filled me with doubt. In the few seconds after those words were uttered, I’d gone back months and years, grabbing hold of all my weak moments. Great way to start the morning.

But before all those thoughts had the chance to consume my sleep-deprived brain, the Lord quickly reminded me of my calling. My calling. It will never resemble the calling of anyone else on this planet. It was perfectly and intricately designed for little, insignificant me. But I’m human, and the doubt wonders if He made the right call. Did He understand the type of wife this man would need? Did He really know who He was giving these 5 babies to? Did He consider all my imperfections, my struggles, the areas where He knew I’d slip and fall?

He is so faithful to bring to my mind the glorious evidence of His work in my life over the years. It rings truer and louder than the stream of disappointing memories there just seconds before. “Remember where I called you from, how I shifted your heart and mind to the become the woman you are today. I’m far from finished with you, but daughter, remember… “

I’m doing exactly what He wants me to be doing, and raising my babies the way He’s calling me to. No, it won’t work or fit for every family. But I’m not responsible for every family, I’m responsible for mine. I will probably often be met with opposition from the world. Someone, somewhere will always disagree with what I’m doing here. But I don’t answer to man, but to God. And when the seeds of doubt attempt to take root within my soul, I’ll remember why I’m even here in the first place. He is the God who works wonders.

“Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
   to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
   yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
   and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
   What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
   you have made known your might among the peoples. ”

Psalm 77:10-14

Chopped

As much as I adore my boys sporting long hair, sadly, this was the scene today:

I love the contrast of the 2 colors. Both brown, but one with a golden tint, the other a little red.

After Nathan chopped his bangs a couple of weeks ago, I tried to fix his masterpiece and live with the resulting do. Not possible. He also complained, along with Noah, that it was too hot, they didn’t like it in their eyes, etc. And while I love the long hair, I love my boys more. If they want it short, then short it is. For now, anyways.

I know I’m a little biased, but those are some handsome mini-men. So blessed that at least for now, they’re all mine.

Noah wanted to be the same height as Nathan, so he knelt beside him. Sweet.

No, I didn't alter the color, they're really that tanned. We've spent a lot of time in the sun this summer and the sunscreen isn't always remembered. Cuties.

I love thinking about their relationship when they're older teens or young adults. All 3 of my boys are so blessed to have their sisters and each other. Siblings are awesome. Give your babies lots.

And I get one day to breathe…

We’ve been going non-stop for 8 solid days. What do I consider non-stop? Loading up all 5 of my babies and actually going somewhere semi-chaotic, where I’ll need to mentally engage tremendously more than normal to ensure no one gets lost, injured, killed or traumatized. Basically, anytime I leave home with all 5.

We started last Thursday, with our weekly trip to the movie theater. I’m loving this summer series of movies offered at our local Dollar Theater. We saw the human version of Charlotte’s Web for the first time, and I left wanting three things: 1. to move somewhere that actually has 4 seasons, 2. to live in the country and 3. to have a barn where a talented spider can spin words for her pig friend. I loved that movie.

Friday, I spent the day cleaning and packing for our trip to San Antonio for Father’s Day Weekend. Jeremy wanted to golf with my brother, and we wanted to visit the Kiddie Park. Traveling with 5 babies can be a bit of a challenge, especially when I’ve got a few that want to puke the second we pull out of the driveway. We usually pop in a DVD or two, but I decided to try some audio books this time. I thought they’d get less sick if they were engaging their imaginations instead of only their eyes. Thank the Lord, it worked and we remained vomit-free the entire trip. We listened to Roald Dahl’s, Charlie and the Glass Elevator, the sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was pretty hilarious, and I couldn’t help but smile as the sound of baby giggles filled the car. Sweet, sweet sound.

Whenever we’re in another city I love eating at restaurants that we don’t have here, so Saturday, we had lunch at Cheesy Jane’s thanks to their kids eat free coupon. So yummy! Then we finally decided to brave the 103 degree temperatures and head to the park. I knew it was well shaded, there was a hot, brisk breeze and we had plenty of water.

Their first ferris wheel experience. They loved it!

This was by far, their favorite ride.

Sweet Hannah, "driving" little cars around a track.

The fact that my big girl, on her way to turning 9, can still laugh like that on a baby ride makes my heart feel so good.

The water was irresistible, had to splash in it.

I loved watching the breeze blow their hair in such a whimsical way.

Nate seemed a little unsure about the stability of the boat, but Noah loved it.

Poor Jake, see how flushed he was? It was HOT!

Even the girls liked aiming a gun at their Momma.

Hannah was adorable. No matter how many times she "flew" by me, she'd smile and wave, after she shot me, of course. 

I think Noah aimed the best. I could feel those bullets zooming past my face.

Took him a few minutes, but Nate finally settled in and started shooting.

This turned really quickly and abruptly. Can you tell they loved it??

I love how hard they were laughing.

Carousel's can't help but make you feel all nostalgic. Love it.

A really nice family was having a birthday party and asked if the babies wanted to hit the pinata. Hannah couldn't believe the amount of candy they were getting to keep!

After a couple of hours, baking in the South Texas heat, we headed back to my brother’s house to cool off. It’s incredible how heat like that can really zap the life from your bones.

Father’s Day morning, we presented Daddy with his yearly t-shirt. I’d include a pic, but I can’t locate the shirt right now. It had all 5 hand prints on it and said, “5 High-5′s for the BEST Daddy!” Needless to say, he loved it. We also had the pleasure of visiting my brothers church and watching him play his guitar with the band. Such a talented young man who loves the Lord. He’ll be an amazing Daddy someday.

Jeremy got to select where we’d eat for lunch, since it was his day. We were all starving after church, so he glanced out across the parking lot, saw a random place and picked it. Maggiano’s. It was wonderful. During our 45 minute wait, I was able to explain to the babies how because our family alone is 7, we’ll probably always have to wait at least a little bit when we eat out. I thought it was a neat observation, but they were more concerned with eating already. That was some of the best service I’ve received, and the food was amazing. I’m still dreaming about my crab & shrimp cannelloni, and the amazing sampler of 5 desserts we enjoyed.

The drive home that night was challenging. I thought it would be fun to not select the first route the GPS offered, but the 3rd. Found out, it’s 3rd for a reason. Maps from 2006 plus one wrong turn meant taking 50 minutes to get out of the city. We did get to see some eclectic areas we never had before, but not without a little extra tension and attitude. We were soooo glad to finally make it home, exhausted.

Some family from Dallas also came down for a few days. We love them so much. This was my sister-in-law’s, brother-in-law and his 3 girls. We consider him our brother, and those beautiful girls are my nieces. Jeremy had some personal days saved up so was able to use 3 of them so he could visit too. We got to spend Monday-Wednesday with them, enjoying some swimming, BBQ, an awesome little water park that had a lazy river we all enjoyed for only $3, and a dinner out with 9 babies! Did I snap any photos? Nope. Too busy living in the moment to capture any…which I partially regret, but I did have way more fun than I normally do as merely a spectator. Thankfully, someone else did take a few so we can remember.

We miss the girls so much, already!

Sweet babies!

Bring 9 babies together, ages 1-8, and you've got some beautiful, but crazy loud times.

We hated to see them leave, but hope we can visit them sometime this fall. After feeling completely wiped out, I was going to cancel our Thursday movie date, but the kids look forward to it and I decided to go ahead and just push through. Were supposed to see Megamind but the projector was broken, so saw Rio instead and it was okay.

So, here we are on Friday. My one day to do absolutely nothing, go absolutely no where. Tomorrow is the circus, which is a big deal for the babies, so trying to rest up. We’ll probably also toss some swimming in there somewhere. Oh, and we started school around here last week. We got 3 solid days completed before we had to rearrange our schedule to accommodate changing plans. That’s the beauty of it, though. Being able to adjust our school days to match our lives, not the other way around. Hope your summer is as crazy as ours has been!

Fun, fun times

Our Summer is in full swing over here, and it’s been a really wonderful 2 weeks. First of all, make these muffins. I’ve made them 3 times in less than a week. Once with blueberries, once with strawberries, and once with raspberries. All 3 are delicious. It’s my new go to muffin that I could literally eat daily. Go. Now. Make them. You won’t regret it.

I think my favorite rendition might be with the blueberries. Soooo, so, good.

And what’s that little paper the muffins are sitting on? Well, I don’t buy paper plates because they’re too expensive and seem wasteful, but I don’t want to wash a million dishes after every meal. So, I bought these, and I use them for serving the babies things like muffins, cakes, sandwiches, etc. $5 for 1,000 sheets is hard to beat.

Our local baseball team shoots fireworks after every Friday night game. We decided to skip the game, but park near the fireworks. The babies had no idea, as we pulled them from their beds in their pj’s to go. They were ecstatic. It was a pretty decent show, too! Definitely worth the time. We hope to see them a few more times this summer.

These were our favorites. Looked like a million stars.

We set them up with juice boxes and a couple of blankets. Jake was hiding inside the car with Daddy.

We were literally right underneath them. Never been that close before. We could actually see the guy setting them off just in front of us.

We also made a play washing machine, complete with rotating dials. Lasted all of 2 days before the “glass” door got ripped off.

Jake tried to sit inside after he saw Nathan doing it. Nate wanted to stay in there "forever."

We finally visited the new splash park at the Aquarium. We LOVED it, and plan to go often. It’s zero-depth, which means no chance of drowning! There is a chance of getting knocked over by rowdy kids who run little ones over. Thankfully, the ground is squishy.

The first day we tried it, was one that started on a really rough note. I was having one of those mornings when things began to feel very overwhelming. Stress began to choke the breath right out of me, and I felt like the walls were closing in. Thank God, He quickly pulled me from myself, and reminded me about this new park, only 11 minutes away. I had to get out of the house. I quickly told the babies to throw on their swimsuits. “Where are we going,” excited little voices asked. “It’s a surprise,” I answered. I’m falling in love with surprising them. It’s becoming somewhat of an addiction for me, I think.

As soon as we got closer, they knew where we were going. Squeals filled the car, bouncing from window to window. I couldn’t park quick enough. And when they finally saw the park?

I love how they stick together when we go places like this.

This was a huge waterfall that would crash down on people below.

They were just dumped on by a huge waterfall.

Sweet Nate, always messing with his hair. No, I haven't cut it. Gonna let it grow.

Jake, not a huge fan. He has gotten used to it, though. As long as you avoid his face, he has fun. Can you spot all 5 of mine?

Took Hannah a while to finally get in there. Once she did, I couldn't get her out.

Ella snapped this of me and my Jake. Ahh...

She is such an incredible big sister. Better than I EVER was.

After playing for a few hours and eating lunch, we browsed around the dolphin exhibit. I left the camera in the car, ever trying to find the balance between capturing moments and living in them. There’s an underwater viewing area where you can see them gracefully swimming. The room is dim and cold, mostly lit by the sun that permeates the blue pool above. I’ve always loved staring at aquariums full of lively fish, but watching dolphins swim back and forth in front of me? Wow. Beyond calming. I’ll admit, I actually got a little emotional watching such beautiful creatures. It was as if I could literally feel my stress level completely drop.

We decided to stay for their show. We made our way back to the surface to find our seats. There are certain factors, when combined at just the right moment, that create a sort of peaceful euphoria for me. Sitting there, view of the ocean beside us, sun reflecting off the blue pool, the cool breeze, my 5 babies sitting together, laughing and loving? More tears of gratitude. The Lord saw fit to bless me with a perfect, perfect moment. I didn’t realize how badly I even needed one. So wonderful. Thankful.

We've also hit the library. I'm so glad my babies love books as much as I do.

And for the first time, my little ones got to experience miniature golf. We discovered two things. 1. They LOVE it. 2. This will need to go on our fall/winter fun list, not the summer list. Even going at 6 in the evening, it was brutally hot. I mean, HOT.

See how flushed they are? Poor babies. And Hannah, my mermaid, will always find water.

Winding up...

About to make impact...

Oh, so close.

Can you tell what just happened here?

While Daddy was consoling Hannah, Ella was consoling Noah. He'd just been benched for one entire hole and was in tears over it. Ella felt so bad for him, more so than for Hannah who had just been smacked. And little Nate just sat there, stunned.

Momma, can you please take a picture of me and my club and pink ball?

Can you tell they're hot and exhausted. These "smiles" were followed by hardcore meltdowns an hour later. I couldn't blame them. It was a long, but beautiful day.

Last, but not least, we’ve been playing in a little pool when we can. The babies are enthralled with even the smallest amount of splashable water. I placed Jake in a little flexible plastic tub I have for toys. It was the perfect size for him.

Jake is now a fan of water, as long as it's not being poured directly over his head.

"Spaa, spaa," he'd repeat after me when I told him to splash. So sweet.

I end this long photo post with what else, but an adorable baby butt. Hope you’re enjoying your summer!

I hung a tarp to block some of the sun. Worked really well!

Sculpting, scissors & splashing

I know Summer doesn’t officially start until later in the month, but for our Summer Fun 2011 goals, it began June 1. I’m pretty excited that we’ve already enjoyed 3 items from our list. It really makes me feel good when the babies see me organize or schedule something that actually ends up happening. I think it grows their trust in me as a Momma. What I say will happen, will happen. Hasn’t always been the case, unfortunately. I’ve allowed my crankiness, exhaustion or frustration to overrule most of my thinking for the last 8 years I’ve had this job. But thankfully, every second is a new one to be different, be more like the Momma the Lord created me to be. So grateful for multiple second chances.

We made homemade playdoh using this recipe:

Ingredients
2 cups of water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup of salt
2 tablespoons of cream of tartar
1 tablespoon vanilla (if you want it to smell pretty)
food coloring

Directions

Combine water, oil, salt, cream of tartar and vanilla in a saucepan and heat until warm and most of salt is dissolved. Remove from heat and add flour. Stir until all flour is incorporated. Let cool, then knead until smooth (or you can knead when hot and burn your hands, like me.) Cut dough into as many colors as you want to make. Add a few drops of food coloring to each ball, and knead until entirely incorporated. If you don’t like the color, add more, a little at a time. Keep in ziplock bag in your fridge. The cream of tartar will help dough keep for up to 6 months. If it dries out a bit, just add a little water, and knead.

I tinted the dough to make 8, beautiful colors.

I realized that each baby really needed their own ball of each color, since some like to mix it and some like to keep each color separate. I forgot to wear gloves when dying the dough. But once incorporated, it didn't stain. And yes, even Jake got a tiny ball of each color.

Ella's hamburger.

Hannah, always wanting to be like her big sister, also made a hamburger.

Noah had to show his sisters the "way a man makes a burger."

Nate is my mixer. All 8 colors blended into this muted shade, which he then used to make this, his "scewee max." Yes, it was very scary, indeed.

I’m always amazed how long my babies can sculpt and create. They played with that dough for over 2 hours before I had to pull them away from it!

Unrelated to fun, two days ago, when I was certain all of them were sound asleep as I finished some tasks, Nathan decided to sneak into my room, find a pair of scissors, and cut his own bangs. He didn’t have his first hair cut until he was almost 2 years old. I loved the way his soft curls bounced as he played. However, the longer it grew, the more questions I got about when I was going to “give that boy a haircut.” I caved, and we cut it. But I always missed his curls. So, after seeing a friend of mine let her baby’s hair grow out, I decided we’d do the same. It was finally past that awkward phase and starting to curl up at the ends. Now, this.

What do I do with this? I don't want to cut it all off and start again??

What’s the beautiful thing about not having a yard completely covered in grass?

After jumping through the sprinkler and being clean, the runoff caused this.

Yes, they were throwing mud at one another, but it was really in a sweet and loving way.

We had a wide range of mud, from watery to thick. Made for a good war.

They still couldn't believe I was telling them to actually jump in the puddles.

I really should have jumped right in there with them. Next time, for sure.

They were completely covered.

Come on, what's not to love about 2 sisters holding muddy hands?

Hannah was really hesitant to get so muddy, but after seeing the older two laughing so hard, she finally joined in and loved it!

Noah is a fighter. Well, a play fighter. He often loves to pose in his warrior stance. He made no exception when using mud as his ammo.

Bath time lasted a little longer than normal, after all of this. I love that she'll be 9 soon, and has no problem enjoying stuff like this with her younger siblings. It was a great day.

My infatuation with the beach

The beach is a really special place for us. I’ve always been overwhelmed by how small I feel when staring into the vastness of a wild and raging ocean. The waves, crashing at will, their thunderous sounds beating as one harmonious song that silences the noise in my head. The sun, warm rays melting into my skin as the clouds dance in and out of her path, varying the intensity of each beam as it hits. The air, it’s salty, briny scent always intoxicating as it blows across my face. I want to live there.

My babies may not realize it, but I know they love the beach for a lot of the same reasons that I do. At this age, they’re more enamored with jumping through the waves, splashing in the surf and building sand castles. But I sense a peace that envelops them when we’re there. Their normal fighting and bickering is almost non-existent, their smiles and giggles are in endless supply. It’s an enchanting place for them, too.

We were blessed to spend some of Memorial Day weekend there. It was our kickoff to Summer and hopefully the first of many glorious trips this season.

Beautiful Ella. She enjoys the sand more than water. She loves to design & create.

My Noah. He's still got his adorably silly side. I hope he never loses it.

He looks so grown up and handsome, here. I can catch a glimpse of him as a rugged 18 year old, ready to take on the world. We were just discussing him finding his bride. How my heart will break when my boys get a new, number 1 woman in their lives. Treasuring every second I get to be her.

Hannah is my mermaid. She'd stay in the water all day if I never called her to land.

It was really difficult to get Nate to stop for a pic. He never wants to pause long enough! That's watermelon juice dripping down his chin.

Jake still isn't a huge fan of the sand, but he LOVED chomping on watermelon while in the shade.

More yummy watermelon-juice chin. I love the sand in his lashes.

This is how my baby gives kisses, now. Full pucker and all. Still often wet and messy, but they're the absolute BEST on earth.

See that smile? It's really hard to get that from her anywhere else. This is her place.

They loved sitting backwards to the waves, anticipating when they'd crash. They were always surprised, and it was hilarious for them.

Sweet, sweaty, sandy curls. Doesn't get any better than that.

Seasonal fun

I love it when I stumble upon an idea that just clicks as something that would be great for our family. In the past, it felt like all I ever had were a bunch of great ideas. However, things have really taken a turn for the better around here, and ideas are actually turning into physical realities.

I saw this post about making a Summer Fun Chart to list all the activities you’d like to participate in as a family over the next few months. I loved that idea. We’ll be starting our new school year in the beginning of June, but that shouldn’t stop us from enjoying the summer. I used the list from that site to jump-start our own list, adding and removing what fit for us. We came up with 50 things to do, plus left 4 blank lines for any additional activities we participate in. I didn’t want to pay to get a large poster printed, so I just typed our list and then printed it on 4 sheets of paper that I taped together to make a 17 x 22 page. We made a frame out of some old Amazon boxes that we glued and then painted, and our masterpiece now graces our living room. As we complete an activity, we’ll place a sticker next to that item on our list. I’m hoping to snap pics of everything and maybe compile some sort of photo journal that the babies can flip through while they reminisce about the summer of ’11.

This is actually a project I see us doing for each and every season of the year, not just the summer. Will we get to do everything on the list? Maybe. Some of the things on it we actually do on a weekly basis as it is. But even if we aren’t able to do it all, I already promised myself I won’t feel like I’m a failure and allow unnecessary guilt to settle in. I’ll do the best I can for my babies, and pray that the Lord will bless my efforts and supply countless, beautiful, fun-filled memories for them.

Here’s our list if you want some ideas to start your own:

swim at nana’s
backyard campout
family movie night (this is one we usually do every Saturday night w/the babies anyways, but I figured it would help them to see the accumulation of stickers for times when they start complaining that we “never watch anything!”)
go to the library
go to the movies (Cinemark Theater brings back 10 kid movies during the summer for $1, or only $0.50 if you buy a pass in advance. Last year we loved seeing some of our favorites we missed the first time they were in the theaters.)
backyard swim party
run through sprinklers
take a nature walk
see a parade
watch fireworks
water balloon fun
family picnic
go miniature golfing
eat snow cones
make ice cream
go on a road trip
night stargazing
family game night (another one we do weekly. We either play a board game, or this is when we break out the Wii. I had the pleasure of dancing to “There’s a Party in my Tummy” from Yo Gabba Gabba, last week. Highest score, right here.)
make homemade playdoh
build a sand castle
pizza party
make root beer floats
play at the beach
go to a festival
jump in a bouncy
go bowling
make smore’s
go to a pool
go “losting” (a term my sweet friend coined that I love…the term & my friend.)
go to sprinkler park
visit aquarium
go to the art museum
visit san antonio kiddie park (so excited to take the babies here. This is a place I remember enjoying when I was a kid, and I know they’ll love it as much as I did.)
go to the zoo
watch a meteor shower
go camping
go to the circus
visit downtown water fountain
see an outdoor concert
see an indoor concert
watch an outdoor movie
catch fireflies
go fishing
play in the mud (I plan to participate in this one, not just watch, after seeing an episode of Peppa Pig in which the entire family happily played in mud. Yes, they’re pigs, as my husband pointed out to me, but I still loved the idea and can’t wait.)
dance in a rain shower
complete a reading program (Barnes & Noble, Half Price Books, and our library all have summer reading programs w/cool gifts for completion. The kids usually get their free circus tickets through the library program.)
go to craft time @ library (our local library has weekly arts & crafts time throughout the entire summer and it’s free!)
make & fly kites
go to a baseball game
explore our city as tourists (you know, pretend we’ve never been here and visit what we think first-timers usually visit.)

The babies love walking in and seeing that list, anticipating our fun-filled summer.

Those big circles were supposed to be bubbles, but the paint didn't want to cooperate.

On a side note, my babies have become avid climbers, even Nathan. Still scares me a little bit, but I have to let them do it. The more they climb, the better they become. Noah goes the highest.

Clothes have been tamed

I became a mom almost 9 years ago, and ever since then, clothes organization and laundry have endlessly tormented me. As we added baby after baby the quantity increased, and I found myself feeling overwhelmed by the immense multitude of fabric I was drowning in. Adam and Eve had no idea how good they had it when they were always naked.

I’ve read countless articles, scoured the web for tips, suggestions, solutions. Nothing. I found plenty of ideas, but nothing that would fit our particular family. Then I talked to a friend who casually mentioned what a friend of hers was doing with her 9 children. She had one central kids closet. Only she put things in and took things out. It got me thinking, and after some trial and error I stumbled upon a system that has worked for the last 3 weeks its been implemented. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it and am so thankful. Maybe some of it can work for you?

With the young ages of my babies, our main issue was containing all of the clothes. They would be folded, crammed into a drawer, then all clothes would get dumped from the drawer when a certain item was desired. Some clothes would get shoved back into the drawer, most would end up staying on the floor. Someone would want to change 5 times that day, dirty clothes ended up mixing with clean, all ages/genders jumbled together in multiple piles all over the house. It was a nightmare.

Here’s what I did:

1. I washed everything since I didn’t know what was really clean or dirty.

2. After all was clean, I threw a huge blanket onto the floor and had the babies separate all the clothes into piles for each person.

3. We went through each pile and removed anything too small (donated it,) too stained/destroyed (trashed it,) or too hot for the current season (boxed it.)

4. I took a detailed inventory of every single wearable item that each person still had.

5. After looking at my inventory, I made another list of items I believed each child still needed but was lacking. Now, each family needs to decide how many outfits each person needs to function properly. I was tired of having “play” clothes and “go into public” clothes. I realized that if I took care of their clothes properly (treating stains as soon as possible, etc.) that our family could use one set of clothes for both play and public. This works for us. I felt that each child needed no more than 5-7 full outfits, 3 sets of pajamas, 5 pairs of undies, and 5 pairs of socks. “Fancy” clothes, like dresses for the girls and pants for the boys are extra.

6. I bought what I needed, washed it, and then we folded everything. Dress clothes were hung up.

7. I got rid of the dressers (my kids rooms are too tiny for them anyways,) and created one central kids closet. I had a standard tall bookcase that I assembled into the closet. I adjusted the shelves so that I had 5 and they were evenly spaced apart, one for each child. I started with oldest on the bottom to youngest at the top. I purchased 5 narrow, fabric bins (dollar store) that would be used for undies, socks and swimwear. The rest of the clothes were folded and placed on each persons shelf in order of pajamas, tops then bottoms. At first, I was the only one going in there to retrieve their one outfit for the day (no unnecessary changes anymore), or their pajamas at night-time. But over the past few weeks they’ve learned the system and can retrieve their own items properly.

8. I got rid of our huge hampers and purchased smaller laundry baskets. I placed one in the girls room and one in the boys. They know to place their dirty clothes in the basket. The wonderful thing about a smaller basket, is that even when I combine the boys and girls clothes into one after a couple of days, that one basket is only one load of laundry! The old hamper we used was huge so the minimum load number was 3-4. That was enough to overwhelm me to the point that I couldn’t even get started somedays. But one load?? Come on! And a side perk? Because the basket is so light and little, I was able to show Ella how to carry it to the machine, load it, pour in the detergent, hit the right buttons and do it herself. Trained her on the dryer yesterday, so she is the official washer/dryer/folder of all kids clothes, and she’s super excited about it! Ahhhh.

Not only have all their clothes stayed fresh, folded and organized, but finding a specific item is now a breeze since everything is stacked and easily viewable. The drawers only allowed them to see what was on the very top, which of course was never what they wanted. We’re also not hunting through multiple baskets/piles to find something. All clean clothes are on their shelves. What did I do with their now empty closets? I’ll post about that later on, but it includes toy storage and Ella’s new, private “office.”

These are my top 2 shelves. The boys got blue baskets, girls got pink. Each shelf is about 14" tall, plenty of room left for more clothes if needed. And yes, someone scribbled with crayon underneath that top shelf.

I also forgot how unbelievably therapeutic it is for me to hang laundry on a clothesline. There’s something magically whimsical about it all. The early morning rays gracing my skin with her warm glow, the cool breeze blowing through my hair as I slowly smooth the fabric over the line. You just can’t rush it, you’re forced to slow down. I could’ve stayed out there all morning, it was that wonderful.

It was a beautiful, peaceful morning for hanging laundry outside.

Now that the clothes monster has been tamed, I’m 99% complete fine tuning my system for toys/books/art/homeschool materials. Immensely thankful to the Lord for giving me some fresh ideas and much-needed energy to get some vital things done around here. Sanity is so close, I can taste it!

Cocoa Syrup

I will never buy bottled chocolate syrup again. Ever.

Makes the most incredible chocolate milk, and a delectable ice cream topping. Get the recipe here.

Being a Princess

Growing up, I was never much of a girly girl. I wasn’t the type to play princess, didn’t enjoy playing dress up or getting fancy, didn’t tote my baby dolls around dreaming of the day a prince would make me a wife and mother. I’ve always possessed a rather cynical edge from at least the age of 5. “Be a princess? Who wants to be stuck in some stupid, itchy ball gown all day waiting for some loser prince to save her?” Yes, these were my thoughts as a child.

Even through adolescence, I didn’t gravitate toward girls, didn’t trust them. Boys seemed a lot easier to figure out and weren’t as shady when it came to genuine friendship. I just sort of morphed into somewhat of a tom-boy. To this day, I still prefer sweats and jeans over a dress and heels. Maybe it’s the exhausted/practical Mom in me wondering what the point of it all really is. But I think’s it’s probably a little bit more.

I don’t remember ever really feeling like a princess, never felt worthy enough to be treated like one. But the desire to feel special and beautiful is still there, buried under years of painful, distorted experiences. I do know that the Creator of the universe saw it fit to create me, too. He doesn’t make mistakes, no “oops” are ever uttered from His lips. He sees me as His beautiful daughter, a daughter of a King. I am a princess. Incredibly hard to feel that way, though, and my ability to comprehend His unending love for me is a continual struggle of mine.

The Lord gives us wonderful opportunities as parents to give our babies a glimpse of His goodness, examples of His character. We work as ambassadors on His behalf, explaining and showing them what His love is like. When they’re ready to embark on their own personal relationship with Him, they’ve already had a taste of who He is. They’ll see Him, recognize that love and more easily embrace it because it already feels a little familiar.

I want to help my girls avoid doubting their worth, how precious they are to Him. While a lot of that comes from working daily on their hearts, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with also giving them tangible expressions they can relate to.

I’m not one to buy a lot of frilly, fancy items for my girls. If they can’t use it almost every day and in almost every situation, I won’t purchase it. But, we were to be guests at a tea party for Ella’s Keeper’s group, and my girls didn’t own any tea-party attire. I know, neglectful Momma, I am. After searching for dresses that were age/event/price appropriate, we actually stumbled upon 2 perfect ones. When I pulled Ella’s from the rack and asked her what she thought, her response flipped an unexpected switch in my heart.

“Oh Momma! This is it, this is the one! It’s exactly what I wanted, I love it!” Likewise, Hannah couldn’t stop ooing and ahhing over her own. After an afternoon of sipping dainty tea and nibbling tiny sandwiches in their dresses, they couldn’t stop thanking me. They thanked me for the dresses, for the shoes, for even taking them to such an event. As she smiled from cheek to cheek, Hannah remarked, “Momma, thank you so much for brining us to this place. I never get to dress up so fancy. I’m so glad Ella invited me. I hope we can do more girl stuff like this again!”

Same here. The sparkle in their eyes as they enjoyed their God-given feminine side was a really precious thing to witness. My girls felt like princesses, and it only cost me $32.07 and 2 hours of tea. Unfortunately, I’ve been projecting my anti-frilliness onto them, not allowing them to fully embrace their girly side. They adore dress-up and baby dolls, and they always invite me to the ball. Do I squeeze into one of my old formal dresses hanging in the closet and join them? Nope. Never. But I can start to before they stop inviting me.

I want to cultivate the strongest, sweetest, female bond possible with my beautiful girls. I want to pour into their hearts the truth of how exquisite and priceless they are so that there’s never a day when they don’t believe they’re worth the love of a King. Looking forward to more glitter and glam-filled memories with my girls.

My two princesses, ready for their tea-party. I didn't wear a dress, but I should have. You can guarantee I will next time.

How I study my Bible

Am I one of those women who has always spent daily, meaningful time in the Word? Absolutely not. Until just recently, the last time I consistently studied was in early 2008. Over the last 3 years, my spiritual life has been heavily darkened, burdened in ways I wasn’t sure I would ever recover from. But the Lord remains faithful, and does restore what once was lost.

May 9th was the first morning my husband and I awoke at 5:00 am to read together. We did this years ago, and I remember feeling like every morning we were blessed with a special date. This time, it was his idea, his prompting, that led me to agree to start reading again. Besides an occasional glance at a passage here or there, I really haven’t read at all in over 3 years. I decided to purchase a new Bible, hoping the negative feelings I associated with my old Bible would relent. They did.

I’ve never been fond of any Bible reading plan that entails actual dates listed. The moment you miss a day,  you’re suddenly behind and have to play catch up. That burden alone can be enough to thwart any attempt to remain consistent. A couple of months ago, I stumbled upon this one, the Bible Reading Plan for Shirkers & Slackers. It’s brilliant. Click the link to read more about it and to download the plan. But having a simple reading plan isn’t always enough to help us actually study the Bible. We read, but then what?

A few years ago I heard a sermon from Matt Carter at Austin Stone Community Church on how he learned to study from a fellow pastor at a men’s conference. It’s incredibly easy and rewarding. It’s called the R.E.A.P. method. You Read, write down a passage and Examine what it’s saying, Apply it to your life, and then Pray about it. I’m constantly amazed at how, even when I begin and wonder if I’m really going to get anywhere, by the end of my time with Him a page or two of my journal is overflowing with words. Seeing page upon page of my thoughts intertwined with His words does something very wonderful for my soul.

So, it’s been 10 consecutive days that I’ve spent daily time in the morning with the Lord. Do I notice a difference? Amazingly so. Not only am I not any more tired than I was when I woke up at 7:30, but my days feel like they’re twice as long. The amount I’ve been able to get accomplished around here is astounding, compared with how before, I felt like there wasn’t enough time in the world to finish my tasks. My mood is calmer, more focused, and the atmosphere in this house has changed. My husband and I are connecting on a different level, a level that can’t be achieved any other way. When we study together, the Lord unifies us and bestows upon us the ability to extend mercy and grace to one another. We begin to look at each other through His eyes, not our own. Old imperfections that normally drove us to week-long arguments, suddenly don’t hold the weight they once did. We have peace, we have love, we have oneness.

Might I miss a day? Probably. Life always attempts to get in the way of any consistency. But I love this and I don’t want to lose it again. Praying that He give me the ability to stay connected on a daily basis, not just for my sake, but for the sake of the beautiful man and babies that He’s blessed me with.

My morning view: coffee, notebook, pen & my new, pretty, purple Bible. That, and a handsome man who won't let me snap his picture at 5:00 am.

Cream Cheese Coffee Cake

I adore cream cheese, coffee and cake, so when I saw this recipe from Cook’s Illustrated, I knew she was meant for me. It really should be titled Lemon Cream Cheese Coffee Cake because it’s got a pretty strong lemony flavor, but it’s so, so good. I don’t have a tube or bundt pan, so I threw this in a 9×13 and it took about 45 minutes to bake up beautifully. Also, being that I wasn’t going to run to the store and I had to have this today, I subbed vanilla yogurt for the sour cream. I also accidentally added an additional teaspoon of vanilla. Kids devoured it, Momma enjoyed w/a hot cup of joe, and our morning was simply splendid.

The lemon sugar-almond topping was sublime. Perfectly crunchy, tart & sweet.

See that layer of cheesecake-like goodness? It doesn't get absorbed into the cake but remains as its own delightful, surprise treat hidden within.

Published January 1, 2010.   From Cook’s Illustrated.

MAKES ONE 10-INCH CAKE, SERVING 12 TO 16

Leftovers should be stored in the refrigerator, covered tightly with plastic wrap. For optimal texture, allow the cake to return to room temperature before serving.

INGREDIENTS

Lemon Sugar-Almond Topping

• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated zest from 1 lemon
• 1/2 cup sliced almonds

Cake

• 2 1/4 cups (11 1/4 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1 1/8 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 1/8 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon table salt
• 10 tablespoons (1 stick plus 2 tablespoons) unsalted butter , softened but still cool
• 1 cup plus 7 tablespoons sugar
• 1 tablespoon finely grated zest plus 4 teaspoons juice from 1 to 2 lemons
• 4 large eggs
• 5 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 1/4 cups sour cream
• 8 ounces cream cheese , softened

INSTRUCTIONS

1. FOR THE TOPPING: Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Stir together sugar and lemon zest in small bowl until combined and sugar is moistened. Stir in almonds; set aside.

2. FOR THE CAKE: Spray 10-inch tube pan with nonstick cooking spray. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together in medium bowl; set aside. In stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, beat butter, 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar, and lemon zest at medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes, scraping down sides and bottom of bowl with rubber spatula. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each addition, about 20 seconds, and scraping down beater and sides of bowl as necessary. Add 4 teaspoons vanilla and mix to combine. Reduce speed to low and add one-third flour mixture, followed by half of sour cream, mixing until incorporated after each addition, 5 to 10 seconds. Repeat, using half of remaining flour mixture and all of remaining sour cream. Scrape bowl and add remaining flour mixture; mix at low speed until batter is thoroughly combined, about 10 seconds. Remove bowl from mixer and fold batter once or twice with rubber spatula to incorporate any remaining flour.

3. Reserve 1¼ cups batter and set aside. Spoon remaining batter into prepared pan and smooth top. Return now-empty bowl to mixer and beat cream cheese, remaining 5 tablespoons sugar, lemon juice, and remaining teaspoon vanilla on medium speed until smooth and slightly lightened, about 1 minute. Add ¼ cup reserved batter and mix until incorporated. Spoon cheese filling mixture evenly over batter, keeping filling about 1 inch from edges of pan; smooth top. Spread remaining cup reserved batter over filling and smooth top. With butter knife or offset spatula, gently swirl filling into batter using figure-8 motion, being careful to not drag filling to bottom or edges of pan. Firmly tap pan on counter 2 or 3 times to dislodge any bubbles. Sprinkle lemon sugar-almond topping evenly over batter and gently press into batter to adhere.

4. Bake until top is golden and just firm, and long skewer inserted into cake comes out clean (skewer will be wet if inserted into cheese filling), 45 to 50 minutes. Remove pan from oven and firmly tap on counter 2 or 3 times (top of cake may sink slightly). Cool cake in pan on wire rack 1 hour. Gently invert cake onto rimmed baking sheet (cake will be topping-side down); remove tube pan, place wire rack on top of cake, and invert cake sugar-side up. Cool to room temperature, about 1½ hours. Cut into slices and serve.

10 Reasons

When we initially decided to homeschool our babies, we were mostly driven to it by fear. Ella was only 4 at the time and the thought of sending her out into the great unknown while she was still so tiny and vulnerable was terrifying. But over the past 4 years, the Lord has shown me that I had nothing to be afraid of, only wonderful things to anticipate. The reasons we homeschool have become less about what we’re avoiding in public school and more about what we’re embracing that only this offers:

1. I set the pace of their days, their lives. When they become adults, they’ll face many seasons of fast-pace, high-stress, intense-demand, filled days. I don’t want those days to begin when they turn 5. I can allow them to enjoy the process of learning, exploring and creating minus the stress a public education can often bring. They get to remain carefree children for just a little bit longer.

2. They learn things in the proper context. My babies don’t learn about the world while sitting inside of a building at a desk, they learn while exploring our actual, physical world. Concepts click easier and becoming immediately real when they can see them in action. I also have the ability to give them information when I feel they’re intellectually ready for it. They learn about sensitive subject matter from someone who loves them intensely and only has the best intentions for every single one of them.

3. I can customize their education based upon their skills, abilities, gifts & passions. If I have a visual, audible and sensory learner in the same class, I can fine tune my instruction to give each child the best chance at grasping the material. If someone needs extra attention, more guidance or additional explanation, I can afford to give it.  I can also incorporate our love for certain things, like art, more often. Learning the letter M? Let’s make an M out of mosaic tiles. Studying ancient Egypt? We can sculpt grand pyramids out of clay. Studying the life cycle of cnidarians? Let’s paint a whimsical scene full of jellyfish.

4. I can swap curriculum the instant I see it isn’t working for us. A program that works wonderfully for one child may not benefit another at all. I can change curriculum instantly, trying as many as it takes to find the style that best suits each child. I know each one of them so intimately that I’m best able to assess what needs to be changed to encourage their growth.

5. You can’t beat the flexibility of where we learn. I’ve noticed how much more my children take-in when they’re not sitting at a table. We do school everywhere; on a blanket under our tree the first day of Spring, bundled up on the trampoline when the first cold front of the season blows in, at the beach when the fall air is crisp and electric, or on the couch in our pj’s while watching the rain pour outside. There are no limits to our classroom.

6. Our schedule can be flexible to accommodate special circumstances. When the Perseid meteor shower occurs once a year, in the middle of the week in August, I can write that into our schedule so we can camp at the beach, stay up all night enjoying her beautiful spectacle, then sleep the next day when she’s gone.

7. I can weave our beliefs and convictions into all subjects. We don’t only discuss the rotation of the Earth around the sun, but how amazing God is in so intricately designing such a delicate system of existence. They learn the moral reasons why certain atrocities were so wrong, not just the political ones.

8. I can teach proper socialization not only with their peers, but with all ages. My babies go everywhere with me. They’re exposed to people from age 1 to 100, often, and they learn how to appropriately behave and interact with all of them. So many lessons can be taught when people aren’t segregated by age.

9. I get to be active in all of their “firsts.” I’m blessed to witness the sparkle in their eyes when a concept or idea finally clicks, like when they sound out c-a-t, or add 2+2 correctly for the first time. Their siblings also get to be involved, rejoicing in each others accomplishments no matter how small. Which leads me to #10…

10. I can help cultivate a sibling relationship that would not exist otherwise. Something really, really beautiful occurs when Ella is helping Noah read his favorite story, or when Hannah is showing Nathan the difference between lavender, purple and magenta. Their bond is strengthened as they work on projects together and accomplish goals they thought would be impossible. The younger ones get to experience life with the older ones who would normally be gone for most of their day. Ella and Noah were here to see Jake’s first steps and applaud such a milestone alongside me. Precious. They also don’t have the luxury of staying angry, so they’ve learned to fight well. They love being together so much, that when a disagreement arises they hash it out and come to a compromise quickly, fully aware that not doing so would dampen their day. They’ve learned how to give and take, serve each other, show compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, grace and mercy together, on a daily basis.

This time is priceless and fleeting. I’ll blink, and the house will be quiet, their laughter no longer echoing down the hall. No, this job isn’t easy, it’s often exhausting, and I probably won’t see the fruit of my labor for many years. But when I see Noah caring for his ill sister, Hannah singing little Jake to sleep for his morning nap, or Ella helping Nathan trace the letter A, the main reason I do this becomes so very clear. Love.

Ella finally caught the virus that's been traveling around lately. Noah brought her a wet wash cloth to help cool her feverish forehead. She was appreciative. So sweet.

Recap

A lot has happened the last 3 months. My attempt to recap:

My gorgeous niece, Cadence, turned 2. We love her bunches.

Ella won her "campus" spelling bee w/our homeschool group, so she had the chance to participate in Regionals. She was the youngest of 98 students from the area & made the front page of the paper.

I was blown away by how fearless she was. Not an inkling of nervousness. She got the bell spelling sultan as soul-ten. So proud of my big girl.

With a house full of non-swimmers, sprinkler's are a dream come true during our heat filled days.

I've let the babies play in the mud. A lot.

Ella continues to grow more mature as time passes, and her questions and reasoning are beginning to give me a glimpse of the amazing woman she'll be someday.

My little man. He will always, always be my baby.

Hannah can sift sand for "treasures" for hours. She loves the beach like her Momma.

Noah is a jumper. He's always begging me to snap shots of him in mid-air.

Jake had his first real experience with sand. He's not a fan. Yet.

In Science, we had to study earth worms. Nathan was the only one who would hold & play with them.

Jake's blonde hair gets lighter and curlier every day. I sit and play with it for as long as he'll let me.

Sweet sisters. I love the love they have for each other. They still refuse to sleep in separate beds, and must be side by side.

Jake turned 1. He's pretty small for his age, hanging in the 7 percentile, but he's thriving mentally. Such a smart little man already, and almost ready to run.

We attended an art festival. The best part were these huge walls where kids were allowed to paint whatever they wanted, as large as they pleased. That's Noah's black smily face. He said it was Jakey.

My favorite flower, the blue bonnet. I wish it stuck around for longer than 3 weeks. These beauties were brought to me by my love.

We took the kids to see the Blue Angels perform. Jake wasn't thrilled with the loud jets, but the others loved it. It was very windy, so the babies took turns getting blown over by it.

In early April, Nate had a febrile seizure. All the babies saw as he turned blue in my arms. Freaked me out beyond belief, but he is well and healthy, now. Praising God for His mercy.

Nathan picked that flower just for me. I pray my boys always treasure their Momma.

Miss Hannah has become quite the conversationalist. Her musings bring me many smiles.

Sweet Nate turned 3. He's a bubbly burst of sunshine around here, always hopping around. He also loves his siblings and gives many, many hugs. Love my boy.

Ella was part of a chorus at a local college. She got to sing with children from all over the area, in public/private and homeschool. Her choir directors are teachers at the college, so the instruction they received was incredible. Noah plans to join her in the fall.

Ella's chorus won a couple of awards in a music competition. They really did sound great.

My babe, on his bike. We don't often get to drive along side him but when we do, the kids always love seeing Daddy speeding by.

Unplug

Time will not pause for me and my babies. Hours turn into days, weeks melt into years, and I watch my little ones continue to grow. I am grateful, yet, my heart aches.

Knowing this, one would assume my attention would be spent absorbing every precious moment I’m blessed to be with them. That hasn’t been true. I am easily distracted and my mood effortlessly molds to the atmosphere of whatever outside influence I’ve allowed in. Maybe I’m text-arguing with a family member over a difference of opinion, or debating theology on Facebook with a complete stranger who’s a friend of a friend. I might be reading an article that makes my stomach turn, or a blog post that makes me shake my head in disgust. When the adrenaline flows, my heart beats faster and I find myself entangled in something outside these walls that is causing me distress, my family suffers. I allow my emotions to flow outward onto them, taking out my frustrations on these little people who have no idea what’s gotten me so upset. It’s very sad, regrettable and sinful.

Last week, the Lord prompted me to unplug from anything causing me undo irritation. The computer mostly stays off, and the limited times it’s on, I stay clear of the places I know I should. My cell phone stays silenced and I only glance at it a couple of times a day to see if my hubby needs anything. I don’t answer the phone, but let the answering machine take a message. I stopped watching the news since it’s 99% negative anyways, and the TV remains off 90% of the week. I’ll admit, it was extremely difficult the first few days. But the longer I’ve been without constant communication, the easier it’s become. And a beautiful side perk I never saw coming? Time has slowed down. The days seem so much longer, so rich and joyful. My 8-year-old daughter commented to me yesterday, “Mom, I haven’t seen you on your phone or the Mac in days!! I hope it stays like that forever!“

I hope so, too.

The beautiful 6' wide mural I awoke to on Mother's Day. So blessed.

Listening

I’m a horridly poor listener. But if you would’ve asked me early yesterday, I would’ve responded that I am in fact a terrific listener. What I am is a great hearer, I can perceive audible sounds. But give thoughtful attention and consideration to those sounds? Not so much.

Last night, I had the pleasure of speaking with a friend I haven’t seen in over 15 years. It wasn’t until our conversation that I even realized something vital had been missing from most I’ve had the past decade. Being engaged with a speaker.

Here’s I usually operate:

Me: So, how’s work going?

Them: Oh, not too good. Been a rough week.

Me: Oh, wow, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it gets better for you soon.

Them: Yeah, me too. Thanks.

Until yesterday, I thought that was a conversation. Yes, I made a general comment that applied, even gave a mini snipet of something kinda resembling encouragement. But it could be so much more.

Me: So, how’s work going?

Them: Oh, not too good. Been a rough week.

Me: Oh, wow, I’m sorry to hear that. What’s been the rough part about it?

Them: My hours. They keep asking me to work overtime, and I keep saying yes, but I’m wiped out!

Me: That does sound pretty rough. Any chance you can cut back a bit, catch your breath?

Them: Maybe. I just don’t want to look like I’m complaining.

Me: I can understand that. If you talk to your boss, maybe start on a positive note, letting him know how much you enjoy your job and appreciate all the extra income from the overtime. Then just share that it’s been a little taxing on you and your family and ask if it might be possible to cut back a bit.

Them: Hm, that might work. I know he loves hearing when we’re happy with our jobs. And I don’t even think he’s aware that the kids have been sick, so things at home are tough right now…

See the difference? My pal last night didn’t just ask me questions, but thought provoking questions. She got me thinking, not just venting. I don’t listen like that. I hear someone speak, nod my head, make appropriate facial expressions, give generic comments and occasional superficial encouragement. When I called her out on that, she said friendship takes effort. You gotta invest for it to be a good one. That never crossed my mind.

My apologies to all those I’ve only heard but never really listened to. Praying the Lord give me a heightened awareness of the hearts that surround me. Thanks Meagan.

Eliminate

My sister introduced me to a concept she heard regarding New Year’s resolutions. Instead of making a list of multiple areas you’d like to change/improve, select one word that describes the heart of your goals and focus your energy on that word. It sounded like a good idea, and after seeing that same idea pop up on multiple blogs this week, I thought it couldn’t hurt.

A few words came to my mind over the last few days, but one finally stuck. Eliminate.  Here’s my top ten list of eliminations I hope to accomplish in 2011.

1. eliminate external distractions: my children have competed with my electronic media addiction for too long. My days will now be devoted to them and them alone; no cell phone or computer. Internet time is reserved for when they are either napping or in bed for the evening. I tried this out yesterday and was amazed at how much more I laughed and smiled with them. They’re really quite hilariously sweet when given my undivided attention.

2. eliminate external, preventable stress: when I’m irritated with something outside of this house, the people inside of this house suffer. I read a frustrating news article, argumentative email or irritating blog post, and my adrenaline starts flowing. At the same time, a baby will inform me that something has been broken, spilled or lost, and I overreact. If someone or something is causing me more harm and stress than good, I need to eliminate that contact for the sake of everyone who lives under my care.

3. eliminate unrealistic expectations: mainly for myself, my husband and my children. I can’t be superwoman, he isn’t superman, and they’re just babies. This will automatically assist #4…

4. eliminate preventable disappointments: the moments/occasions/events that I build up in my mind, to be grander than even humanly possible, that almost always come crashing down around me.  I need to stop envisioning perfection in all circumstances. This will most certainly help #5…

5. eliminate “woe is me and my circumstances,” days/weeks: these are the pity party days where I mope around plaguing the entire household with my negative energy, sucking the joy and life out of all who live here. Ick.

6. eliminate worldly guilt: this is the kind of guilt caused by the pressures of man, not the Lord. Times when I don’t read my Bible consistently enough, pray or volunteer my time enough. He knows my struggles and my limitations. There’s no need to hide my face from Him in shame. The guilt prevents me from even attempting to enter into His presence. (By the way, after years of failing to complete a Bible reading plan, I read this post from a dear cyber-friend, and am attempting the schedule for “slackers and shirkers.”)

7. eliminate the last 15 pounds of post-baby weight: not only so I can wear clothes comfortably, but so that I’m as healthy as humanly possible. I’ve neglected the one body the Lord has given me, and with 5 very active babies, I need as much as I can get from it.

8. eliminate the clutter: paper clutter, broken toys, random knick knacks, etc. I do not want to be nominated for the tv show Hoarders. I must eliminate the non-necessities. Period.

9. eliminate clean laundry forever living in multiple baskets: when it takes me 20 minutes to find the one item of clothing I’m searching for because I have to dig through all those piles and all those baskets? Come on, that’s ridiculous, and life is too short for that nonsense. It should take me no more than 1 minute to find a specific piece. Okay, maybe 2-3 because sometimes the wrong clothes end up in the wrong drawer and I’ll still need to go through 5 separate areas!

10. eliminate hugless/kissless days: unfortunately, many days have passed when I didn’t give at least one hug to each and every child, one kiss to each and every face…including my husband.  That’s just sad.

11. eliminate “maybe”: I know I said my top 10, but this one is important too. The most frequent response my children hear when they request anything, is “maybe.” Either it’s, “well, maybe later,” or, “maybe tomorrow.” I hope I’m not the only one, but most times, my maybe’s never happen. I’m giving false hope and unreliability. If I’m honestly not sure, then I need to respond, “I’ll think about it.” And when I’ve thought about it, I need to give a yes or a no as my answer. “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” Matthew 5:37

I’m really confident that focusing on one word will help me accomplish most on this list. It’s amazing how little I actually have to change to start seeing a monumental difference in the attitude of my family. My baby girl turned 5 yesterday, and she smiled most of her day. I’m thankful that I was actually able to help cause some of those beautiful grins.

Her dinner of choice? Spaghetti & meatballs, followed by dark fudge chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, and vanilla bean ice cream. Yum!

11

The past 4 weeks have blurred by. This season, once my favorite of the entire year, no longer inspires me as it once did. It seems each year the holiday has grown more hectic and chaotic. Regardless of my many attempts to change things, I can’t simplify them enough to bring peace. Only 11 more days until a brand new year.

Last week, we snapped some family photos so I can update a few old picture frames around the house. We’re missing 2 babies in all the photos that are up now! I’m so behind. I’m not usually a fan of any photos of myself, however, since I’m experiencing our last baby, I want to freeze as many memories of this time as I can. Jeremy took the one below, and it’s a favorite of mine. “But you’re not even smiling?” True, but it captures where I’ve been the last 2 years.

Me and Jake.

While my days aren’t nearly as black as they once were, they’re still dark enough to squelch most spontaneous laughter and joy. I can sense that it’s nearby, just hiding. I desperately wish I could find it. But there are moments when it feels tangible, so close that I can almost bask in it.

Jake. That baby has blessed my heart more than I’ll ever be able to describe. Of course, I love all of my babies dearly. But Jake…

Love.

Here’s a collage I’m getting printed with some of my favorite shots from the day.

This might look small, but it'll print as a 21 x 24 to fit a large frame I have.

Praying I make it through December and that the Lord bring restoration in 2011.

“Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” Revelation 21:5

Ella

She’s been asking for a new, non-kids Bible.

“Mom, I’m old enough for one without pictures. Besides, I like to imagine my own pictures when I read. Please? “

Her child Bible had seen better days. Nathan got a hold of it one morning, and the cover has been missing ever since. Besides, how can I not say yes when a request is for something spiritual? I found one that would be perfect for her and ordered it. I told her it was coming soon. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Can an 8-year-old really be this excited about reading a Bible? I never was at that age. Even now, finding the desire/will/energy/time is the biggest obstacle I face on a daily basis.

“Mom, I can’t wait for my Bible. I’m as excited about this as Daddy was when Madden 11 was on the way!”

Yes, the anticipation of the greatest video game of the year was hard to forget.

When the box finally arrived, I let her open it. As she stared at the cover, she gasped. Sheer delight in her words when she exclaimed just how much she loved it. She hasn’t put it down since.

Isn't it pretty? My heart swells when I see her with it, evidence He is here at work.

Even sweeter, she noticed there were 6 spots in the front to record marriages.

“Wow, I can write down you and Daddy and then have room to write down when each of us kids gets married. This is great!”

I love my girl. Praising God today that she is a far cry from who I was at 8…or even 13 or even, [insert shudder here] 18. He is so gracious to me in regards to my babies.

He’s also been gracious enough to allow me to hone my cooking skills. I had a banana bread recipe that was a favorite, however, when I went on a quest to find it this morning, I came up empty-handed.  I couldn’t find it online, so I crafted my own from what I could remember and what I knew would make great additions.

When I take a bite of something simply delicious, I can’t help but thank the One who created all yummy things. Our world could exist without flavor, our mouths without taste buds. But He saw fit to grant us these blessings. So grateful that He did.

Spiced Banana Nut Bread, print friendly recipe here.

I enjoy this as a muffin because it bakes much quicker, and is perfect for little hands.

Randomness

We’ve actually had some chilly weather lately, which has thrown me into bake mode. I was able to stock my pantry this past weekend, and I look forward to the culinary delights which cooler weather inspires. As a side note, exercise has been postponed until after December 26.

This is a favorite staple in our house. Triple Berry Breakfast Cake. It’s been adapted from a recipe I found in Williams Sonoma Baking cookbook. So. Good. Print friendly recipe, here.

Sweet, buttery and berrylicious.

We’ve started a Thanksgiving Tree. We cut out a ton of maple leaves from construction paper and punched holes in them. Every day each one of us writes, with assistance if necessary, something that we’re thankful for, then it’s placed on the tree. We started with 10 days until Thanksgiving, so with the 7 of us we’ll have 70 leaves Thanksgiving Day. It’s becoming a beautiful project.

This is getting prettier each day as it fills up with thanks.

I love glitter, as do the girls. Why it never occurred to me that we could paint glitter nail polish over a solid color, is beyond me. I saw it done here, and fell in love with the idea. I grabbed a pretty gold/red glitter for Thanksgiving, and layered on top of pink for the girls, a burgundy for me. Do you know how often I glance down at my sparkles and smile?

We plan to coordinate our glitter/solid colors with holidays and seasons. Too fun.

I love that Ella's hands still look plumpy and young, here.

We’ve also been getting a great amount of outdoor time with the gentler sun and cooler temps. I think my babies would live outside if I let them.

My mom knitted that hat. I love that their Nana's skills help keep them warm.

Sweet Hannah.

It was quite chilly, and layering is always so much fun.

Lastly, we created an indoor bean bag toss game that has proven to be really fun. I drew this very large dragon from one we’d seen on Shaun the Sheep, and then let the kids color him in. There are points written in various spots. Land on that portion of his face, get those points. We usually do 5 tosses per person per round. They can play this over, and over, and over. It’ll be a great rainy day game. And, I actually sewed little bean bags myself. This sewing thing is getting easier each project!

Isn't he cute? This is about 4 feet across.

This week I’m also finalizing Thanksgiving recipes. Last night I made the best Pumpkin Pie I’ve ever eaten, (I’ll post recipe once I type it out.) For the first time, our family has consumed an entire pie in one sitting. Can’t imagine how many pies we’ll go through when these boys are teenagers! I look forward to filling their tummies and their hearts with loving memories of Momma.

MAiZE

Tuesday, we had the incredible pleasure of visiting the South Texas Maize. It was a gorgeous, sunny, windy day with temperatures staying in the 70′s. I never realized that mere sounds can cause my eyes to well up with tears. That may sound completely ridiculous, but it’s true. I was a little overwhelmed by the sound created when endless rows of luscious stalks move in unison with the wind. It was like walking through a dry rain storm. Amazing.

I took plenty of photos and narrowing down my fave’s is never easy. There’s a lot here,  so this post is mainly for the sake of my memories, and all family/friends who loves seeing pics of my babies. I can’t wait to go again next year.

My 5 farm animals.

So fun.

The kids loved all the cutout photo ops.

Hannah kept exclaiming, "this is so fun, thanks for bringing us, mom!"

I love the visual of any kind of grain in a breeze. I wish I knew why.

Noah took charge and would've just taken off if we didn't remind him to slow down.

The sound of these stalks was intoxicating.

If you answered the questions correctly, you'd find your way out of the maze.

Nate fell behind, and Hannah was gently leading him. Sweet.

Nate was warm, and tried taking his shirt off.

He liked how the breeze blew right through him.

Noah loved the thought of getting lost in the maze.

There were plenty of gorgeous, large sunflowers, too.

This tree was awesome. The bark was completely stripped on portions, leaving a smooth covering.

Hayride just started moving. Exciting!!

Jake loves smiling at me.

All 5 almost looking/smiling! That's about as close as I'll get.

So sweet. 8 years old, and still loves everything the little ones do.

This is her "mean" face, she said.

Noah, "I wish it were real!"

Babies loved the barrel train. It was little bumpy for my aging body, though.

Due to the jostling nature of the ride, Hannah said "ah-hh-hh-hh-hh" the entire time.

I think she loved the train the most.

The "Corn Popper." I soooo want one of these in our backyard.

It was fun getting to bounce and help little Nate not completely wipe out.

He finally took a tumble. I love that giggles accompanied it.

After 10 minutes of this, the babies were worn out!

Jake, always pleasant.

Compressed air fueled this cannon that shot out dried corn cobs. Very loud and silly.

Near the end of our visit, Nathan finally completely removed his shirt and was trying to feed it to the goats. He loves Shaun the Sheep, and they like to eat clothes. I think he was trying to be generous.

One last hayride before the drive home. I could've done that all day.

Sunset. Never gets old.

Blueberries

I had brunch at a restaurant a few years ago where they served the most buttery, deliciously sweet blueberry muffins.  After tasting that delectable goodness, I was on a quest to find a comparable recipe. I have tried dozens over the years, and nothing quite captured the same flavor I was looking for. Sure, plenty of those recipes were good, but none were great. Then I realized why. The muffin I loved tasted more like yellow cake with blueberries in it, rather than a dense, bread-like muffin.  So, I tinkered with a yellow cake recipe, added some blueberries, and I had it-my favorite blueberry muffin. I don’t fold in the berries because they streak the batter and I always end up with unequal amounts of berries in each muffin. Yes, I’m semi-OCD about stuff like that. After placing batter in the cups, I simply hand place 5 or so berries in the top of each and press them down. This also prevents them from sinking to the bottom. If you like cupcakes for breakfast, try this. So yummy with a warm cup of coffee.

Printer friendly recipe here.

 

I'm not sure why I've just started using cupcake liners. Besides making cleanup a breeze, they look pretty and act as a plate. Less dishes!

Halloween

Like most years, I ended up procrastinating and spent a couple of very busy days finishing up costumes. Part of my delay was due to the fact that as a family, we never officially decided if we would “do Halloween” or not.  Participating in Halloween has become a source of contention among Christian families. Many feel it’s the devils day, and many believe it’s another holiday in which we can honor God. We agree with what John Piper has to say about it. The entire article can be found, here, but here’s a clip:

So I would hope that all Christians would think biblically and carefully about any holiday, any event, and how they might be salt and light in it. And if they feel like this can be of value to the kids in some way, to teach them—if it can be an innocent way of enjoying God’s grace and teaching lessons—so be it.

I’m willing to run the risk of attachment to worldliness in order to be biblically faithful in witness. The same thing with Christmas and birthdays and Easter and worshipping on Sunday. All of these things have pagan connections.

Now that we know where we stand, costumes are something I’ll get started on in the Summer, not a few days beforehand. On a very positive note, I was forced to use my sewing machine and found out, I can do it. I even made my own patterns from some sketches I’d drawn for the girls layered skirts, Jeremy’s uniform, and Jake’s hat. And to have everything come out wearable?? Well, that has given me the sewing bug, big time. Going to attempt something for myself, soon!

Friday, we also celebrated Ella’s 8th birthday with close family. I still can’t believe she’s half way to 16. Afterwards, we attended a city trick-or-treating event, then relaxed on Saturday before a fun Sunday evening at a local church festival.

In the past, I’ve been a real stickler when it comes to candy. I usually toss it all into a communal bag and dish out one measly piece here or there over the course of several months. Eventually, it becomes too old and gets trashed. Not anymore. Part of the fun of holiday’s like Halloween or Valentine’s Day, is the candy. So, we let the kids eat their full on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, then scaled back the next few days until it was all gone. You know what? No one got a tummy ache or had trouble sleeping. And the smiles on their faces when I gave them the go ahead, were priceless. Can’t wait to start planning for next year!

Ella was a butterfly, Noah was The Karate Kid (Daniel), Hannah was a mermaid and Nathan an Oreo cookie.

Jeremy went as Johnny from The Karate Kid, so him and Noah were "fighting" every chance they could find.

I was pretty happy with Jeremy's costume. I tossed that together based on a pic of the original. He was able to wear it all weekend, comfortably. It would definitely split if he attempted to fight in it, but still!

Jake went as the Pea to my Princess. He made a very edible looking veggie.

All the kids love face paint, but I'm pretty sure I enjoy applying it more than they do wearing it.

You see that semi-embarrassed smirk? Ella just caught a glimpse of someone she'd hoped to see. Hannah knows who he is, too. Yes, he. :(

Noah was super proud of his black eye.

Sweet Hannah. She adores the water, so a mermaid was a natural choice.

His Oreo straps tore mid-evening, but he was sweet even without it.

Haha, needless to say, Nate LOVED Pixy Sticks.

As soon as we got home, Nate tore into all of his candy at once. He wanted them all open to look at before he ate them. Sticky and gross.

But look at that face and those sweet, sticky, plumpy fingers.

You can't really tell, but Noah was laughing hysterically. The kind of laughter that's contagious. I want way more of that in this household.

Nothing had graced Jake's lips but Momma's milk...until this. A blueberry dum-dum.

I think he liked it. And not to worry, he only had it for a second.

Celebration

Sunday, my Dad turned 70 years old. I’m not sure how my babies began to call him “Poompa,” but the name stuck. As a tribute to his 70 years and the love that surrounds him, I painted 70 hearts on the faces of my little family. Now, anytime I bring out the paint, the babies are excited. But they were especially so, because, “Poompa will see just how much we all love him!”

We had a wonderful day with him, and we thank the Lord that he’s here.

Noah wanted to be covered. He had the most, at 36.

Hannah didn't want any on her nose, but really loved her heart "earrings."

Nathan wiped his first batch off accidentally, so I had to give him a second.

Jake would not sit still, so he only received one, as did his Daddy.

I only had one, since I wanted to save the majority for the babies.

And Ella, who will be 8 this Friday. She heard me refer to her and her siblings as "babies" today, and I heard her remark, "uh, we're not all babies." I almost burst into tears.

Treat

My babies can eat their weight in oatmeal. Not only is it simple to prepare, but it’s inexpensive and really nutritious. I’ve attempted to improve upon standard versions like maple syrup and brown sugar-cinnamon. A few of our favorite variations are peanut butter-chocolate chip, peanut butter-banana, and berries-n-cream. Our favorite, by far, is chocolate-dipped strawberry. Simply add a cup or two of frozen strawberries to the cooking liquid along with some sugar to taste. Allow the berries to break down, then add the oats. After cooking and removing from heat, stir in as many chocolate chips as you can handle, until melted. Top with whipped cream and a couple of extra chips. I love it when breakfast is seen as a treat.

This gets devoured, and is so good, it's hard to believe it's breakfast!

Jake loves getting cuddle time with his big sister.

Noah, always the last to arise in the morning. I love that he can sleep as long as he wants, even though that's never later than 8:20.

This is his "give me a smile," face.

Hannah exclaimed that the oatmeal was the "yummiest ever!"

I have yet to make our meal plan for the next couple of weeks. Sometimes, the thought of planning what we’ll eat and what I need to purchase is too much. When that happens, I scrounge around finding meals I can make with what I have on hand. The goal? To make something delicious while avoiding the grocery store for one more day. Last night, I made Tyler Florence’s Coq au Vin. WOW. I used all boneless, skinless thighs because I prefer the tenderness of the meat over breasts, and omitted the brandy. I also opted to use diced onions instead of pearl. I served it over buttery mashed potatoes with a side of crisp green beans and crusty bread. You could sip the sauce solo, which is always a good sign.  It was also my first time using Herbs de Provence, and I was impressed. A distinguishable blend of flavors that complimented the wine perfectly. Would be wonderful on a chilly day, even though it was thoroughly enjoyable with temps in the 80′s.

Yum.

Cardboard

I love what you can do with cardboard. It can be transformed into virtually anything. We finally decided on our Halloween costumes for this year and I’m way ahead of the game, considering last year I threw together our concoctions the day before (pics here.) I glanced online at some options before realizing that outfitting our entire family in store-bought costumes would cost us a fortune. Not only that, but what fun is it wearing something that tons of other kids are wearing? I sold my kids on the idea that theirs would be “one of a kind.” They are excited.

The internet can be a great source of inspiration. I found a few costumes I really liked (a couple priced at $60!,) then jotted down ways that I could do something similar for near to nothing. I used my medium of choice, sketched an outline of some butterfly wings and a mermaid tail, then trimmed away with my box cutter. I want the colors to be really vibrant, so I primed them both with some white paint first. I’m really curious to see how these turn out. If they’re half as good as they look in my head, I’ll be pretty excited.

I know it's hard to envision now, but when I'm done with these they'll be glittery, sparkly and all things beautifully girly.

Twelve

Saturday, we celebrated our 12 year anniversary, (for some old photos of our wedding, click here. )Yes, we were kids when we got married, blissfully ignorant about what marriage was or what it would cost us. We had no idea what we were doing or what we were getting ourselves into. All we knew, was that we loved each other enough to make a formal committment.

The years have been taxing, aging and growing us as each one has passed. As difficult as our first few were, this 12th has undeniably been the most trying. But in the midst of many heartfelt sobs and agonizing days, the Lord remained faithful. Although it felt as though He held our marriage by only a mere thread, He held. His tangible presence felt more in our marriage than in any other area of our lives. He keeps us together. Trials may crash down around us, our commitment may be shaken, but it stands because He stands. Grateful and thankful, I am.

We celebrated the day as a family: picnic lunch near the water, Toy Story 3 at the theater and dinner out.  These 5 blessings are such a reflection of the Lord’s goodness. His love has poured through us and into these beautiful lives. What more proof do I need that He exists?

Our beautiful picnic spot downtown. The building created a perfectly enormous, enjoyable shady spot.

Can't get much simpler than a blanket tossed upon freshly cut grass.

After lunch, the kids couldn't help but run up and down the lawn.

Regardless of how fast he ran, Nathan never could quite catch the big kids.

It doesn't matter what comes our way, I love him like crazy.

Lovely

I’ve always adored sun spots in photographs. I’m sure there’s a more technically savvy term than “spots,” but it’s what they are. They seem to capture the personality of the sun, bringing a playful warmth to the subject of the photo. I was able to capture a few of them yesterday as we enjoyed a beautiful, crisp fall morning.

The kids finished their school work outside, and then we decided to cover our playset w/sidewalk chalk graffiti. It was a lovely morning.

Working on Spelling. Yes, she's carrying her "baby" in a sling.

Hannah loves sitting next to her big sister to work on her "lett-ahs."

She's getting so big. Such a little beauty.

Nathan. Such a sweet, sweet baby.

I asked him to give me his "I'll be sweet today, Mom," face.

I love his soft, bald head.

Jake enjoyed hanging in his playpen, enjoying the breeze. 

You know I love close-ups!

Not sure exactly what game they were playing, but they laughed (with no fighting) for over 30 minutes.

Our playset was tagged w/many pumpkins. I like the simplicity of Noah's.

Ella, working on a larger pumpkin.

My sad attempt.

Hannah, about to slide and wipe off all the pumpkins Noah just finished drawing on it. He was pretty upset.

Nathan LOVES these boots. Boots + shorts=adorable.

Nathan also loves to be barefoot, just like his momma.

Us.

Sneaky

Until about 2 years ago, the mere scent of a bell pepper was enough to make me nauseous. I despised them. But my tastes have matured, and I’m strangely in love with them now. A couple of months ago I attempted a stuffed pepper recipe. I thought it was wonderful. The rest of the family? They enjoyed the filling, but left the peppers untouched. I didn’t give up, but decided to try and recreate the same flavors, but in a kid-friendly presentation; the peppers had to be sneaky. I diced them and included them in the filling along with some rice. Plates were cleaned and seconds were requested. Below, my Deconstructed Stuffed Bell Peppers .

Click here for a printer friendly recipe.

I add extra Parmesan on top. There's no such thing as too much cheese.

One of my favorite “desserts” I serve to my kids is a berry sundae. Toss any combination of fresh and frozen berries w/a little sugar. Mix well, then add sliced bananas and allow to chill in the fridge for at least 3o minutes, or until the berries begin to release their juices. I spoon the mixture into little ramekins and add some light whipped cream on top. It’s simple, delicious, healthy and the kids devour it every time.

This was a combination of fresh strawberries, a frozen black/blue/raspberry blend, and fresh bananas. Perfect, light ending to any meal.

A photo of my other favorite sweet thing. I can't believe he'll be 6 months old next Monday! He started giving deliberate kisses last week. I'm in heaven.

Museum

We joined a bunch of other families at the art museum yesterday, to view Nathan Sawaya’s Lego exhibit. It was pretty incredible. I wish I had photos to post of his amazing creations, but photography was banned. Booooo. I was still able to snap some shots of our pre-exhibit picnic and a few outdoor shots. It was a beautiful day.

Nate's favorite part? The squirrels we saw during our picnic.

"Mom, that bird is taking the nut that the squirrel put in his little house!" 

They were stalking another one. I think we saw 4 or 5!

Isn't he cute?

Ella lost another tooth this week. She tells me she's actually quite jealous when she sees someone with all their front teeth.

Jake wasn't too concerned with the squirrels, but he liked the breeze.

There was a really pretty water feature. Just mainly for show, I think, but the kids couldn't help but dip their hands in.

"Oh mom, I just want to swim in it so bad!"

"I really don't understand why we can't put our feet in here. I mean, why would they put this here with this heat and not let us jump in?"

My beautiful niece, Cadence. She is talking up a storm, and is quite enjoyable to be around. I miss her when she's not. 

There was a lot of boat action around the bay. The kids LOVE boats.

My bro-in-law was carrying little Jake. I'm not sure why the raised eyebrow.

Whispers

It’s still dark outside when I hear two little people climb into bed next to me. Without even opening my eyes, I know who it is. Hannah and Nathan, my early birds. My older two and the baby are still sound asleep. It’s quiet. As my eyes strain to remain shut, begging for just 5 more minutes, I hear a loud “whisper” just inches away.

“Ella…Ella…Ella…Ella…Ella…Ella…” Hannah, beckons her big sister. Nathan, who still pronounces Ella, Eya, comes to her aid using the same loud whisper. “Eyaaaaaaa, Hannah ees talkeen to youuuuuu.” I grin. For some reason, these babies are eager to begin their day with me. Exhausted as I am, I’m grateful that there’s no where else I need to be. Just, here.

When the noise of my days becomes frustrating and my heart is tempted to become bitter, I try to remember: many homes are completely silent, many yearning arms remain empty. Today, embracing the near constant noise that surrounds me, as a blessing.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household… (Proverbs 31:15)

As a treat for my beautifully noisy blessings, I made them this Ginger Pear Cake for breakfast w/a side of homemade hot cocoa. It was well received.

This was very yummy. I subbed my favorite white whole wheat flour, and added an additional pear. The rich color comes from black strap molasses.

Her favorite morning beverage, hot cocoa. She always asks for a second cup, even though she knows I'll say no.

Nathan's cocoa, after he'd just remarked, "ees not hot, ees bee-utiful!"

Haircuts

We were outside enjoying the cool, October air. Noah sat in the chair as I prepared my clippers, the others playing in the yard.

“Good morning, sir. How are you doing this fine day?”

“Well Mam, pretty good, thanks. I need to get my hair cut.”

“Sounds great, I can do that for you. Word is, if you don’t complain, there’s a treat at the end of this deal.”

“Really? I like the sound of that. My mom normally cuts my hair, but she’s busy today.”

“Ah, your old mom, eh? Tell me about her.”

“Well, she’s got 5 kids. I’ve got 2 brothers and 2 sisters.”

“Sounds like your house is pretty fun. I wish I had that many brothers and sisters.”

“Yeah, you know, it is really fun. “

I continued to trim away, switching the guard lengths until we got it just right. The boy who must constantly be in a state of motion during his reading lessons, sat perfectly still the entire time. Amazing. When his time was up, he stripped off his shirt, dusting the loose hair from his little chest. Nathan wasn’t as eager to sit in the chair. After promising he would indeed get a candy cane, he sat. Trying to cut the hair of a very fidgety, frightened and tired 2-year-old, is not for the faint at heart.  Somehow, we got it done. Little man hair cuts make little boys suddenly look so much older.

My older boys. Noah is 6 and Nathan is 2, but they play together like they're the same age. Praying they remain best friends growing up.

Our light source this morning for breakfast.

Lately, Jake has been smashing his face against the mesh of his playpen and licking it. Glad he's not in a public daycare.

I’ve been smooching on these toes constantly. I never want them to grow.

Found a GREAT resale shop close to the house. This cute outfit was 75 cents! He loves his big sister.

Quick

I’ve never, ever purchased kale before. The only greens we frequently eat are baby spinach and spring-mix salads. But I subbed kale in this Escarole and Bean soup that took literally 15 minutes. While it wasn’t a hit with the family, they did eventually get it down after I offered cookies for dessert. No, I don’t always bribe my family with sweets, but occasionally, I think it’s okay. I loved this soup, and that’s a good thing since I was the only one who’d eat the leftovers. This is the quickest meal I’ve ever put together that was this healthy, filling and satisfying. Won’t go in our normal rotation, but I really enjoyed it.

Light, garlicky broth, tender, crisp greens and creamy white beans made this so comforting. Look at that yummy steam!

Lyrics

One of my favorite artists is Sarah Mclachlan. Not only is her voice heavenly, but many of her lyrics refer to love in some form. Often times, I hear a love song that was probably written for a significant other. However, the words speak truths that resonate within my soul regarding the Lord.

When I first heard this song off of her latest album, my heart immediately thought of Him…not my husband. And that’s not a bad thing. My husband was never created to light up the darkness that sometimes envelopes me, never meant to carry the load that my heavy heart often bears.  Only One is capable of never growing weary of me.

You can listen here.

Love Come

Love come, light up the shadows.

Let the beauty of you enter in.

For I have hungered for a tender touch,

A long and lonely time.

I’ve seen much more than I want to.

So much anger so much pain.

A line is drawn and lives are torn apart.

The wounds too hard to heal.

Love has taken me in,

Lifted my load,

And in this empty space a wonder grows.

A dream of some kind of peace I could hold up as true.

I never knew anything about love, before you.

You call, and I come running.

I can sense the flood before it breaks.

And I’d do anything to dry your tears,

To let you know you’re safe.

Love has taken me in,

Lifted my load,

And in this empty space a wonder grows.

A dream of some kind of peace I could hold up as true.

I never know anything about love, before you.

Love come light up the shadows.

Let the beauty of you enter in.

For I have hungered for a tender touch,

A long and lonely time.

Reflexes

The babies look forward to Science class about as much as they do Art. Today, we tested our reflexes (and nervous system) to see how quickly we could grab a ruler that was falling between our fingers. This was funny. I assumed they’d all be able to grab it immediately, but all of them had trouble grasping it every time it fell.

Ella almost missed it a few times. They enjoyed it more than I anticipated.

Sweet Noah, he was so frustrated when he missed it, but eventually he was able to grab it just in time.

Jake just watched, with curious eyes, giggling at the kids expressions and squeals.

Speaking of reflexes, my husband would normally greet anything broccoli related with gagging noises. Last night I made Emeril’s Broccoli and Cheese Soup, and he devoured his bowl! He commented that a little red-pepper flake might make it even better. My man, making culinary suggestions! The soup is pureed, so there are no large chunks that can be removed by picky eaters. It was deliciously creamy with only a hint of cheese. I’d title this a Cream of Broccoli Soup, instead. Can’t believe my family ate an entire pound of broccoli in one sitting. That’s exciting news for this Momma, striving to get more produce into their beautiful bellies.

Jeremy was eating these yummy croutons by the handful. So easy to make, much cheaper than store-bought, and addictive!

Fall

Fall has officially been upon us for a few days now and our first cool front of the season will grace us this evening. The mood in our household is electric with the thought of cooler temperatures. Yesterday, our entire crew took a trip to our local craft store to explore, gather ideas and pick up a few autumn decorations. Everyone personally selected their very own pumpkin to reside on our dinner table for the next couple of months.  I’ll be shocked if they actually stay on the table instead of being hurled through the air as baseballs.

Cooler weather also means warmer food. One of the huge benefits of being the sole chef in a home, is getting to create the entire menu. We don’t eat anything that I don’t like, which is a pretty cool plus. In another attempt to convert my family into soup lovers, the menu for the next 2 weeks will only consist of soup. I perused dozens of recipes and only selected those with 5 star reviews and relatively common ingredients. I didn’t want to end up spending $20 on one meal (but the lobster bisque looked so delicious!) Tonight, we enjoyed Ina’s Cheddar Corn Chowder. I halved the recipe and we still had enough for two meals. This was delightful. Even Noah had a second bowl. I served it with whole-wheat croutons (wheat sub rolls buttered and broiled till crisp.) I can’t wait to try the other 13 recipes I’ve chosen.

The shiny orange pumpkin in the back is Jeremy's, the pretty one in front is mine. I also found these adorable tea-light holders for only $1.00.

Cheddar Corn Chowder: sooooo tummy warming.

Thirty-one

I have a horrible tendency to sabotage special events, like birthdays or anniversaries. I actually begin to prepare myself for a disappointing day weeks in advance. For some reason, a large part of me is more comfortable with tense or dramatic situations than with pleasant ones. I’m so good at being so miserable, that it’s easier to go with those emotions than to embrace joyful ones. But at least I’m aware of that defect, and pray that the Lord will continue to change and mend those broken pieces.

I turned 31 on Friday. The night before was not a good one. I was already pouting about the lack of attention I felt I deserved. I hate that I’m still so selfish. But the Lord is good, and He gave my hubby the grace to put my hurtful words aside and bless me on my birthday. I woke up to a delicious breakfast, and beautiful card laid out on the table. I was also blessed by a heartfelt letter penned by my love. I’ m such a sucker for handwritten communication.

For lunch, my parents brought food and gifts. The babies always love spending time with their Nana and Poompa. It was a wonderful visit.  Then, after a yummy dinner, Jeremy decorated my red velvet birthday cake w/cream cheese icing and 31 candles. We were out of birthday candles, so he lit and placed 31 tea-lights on my cake. It was the most beautiful cake I’d ever seen. I’m intensely mesmerized by small, flickering flames.

It was a great day, and one of the first birthdays in a long time that wasn’t ruined by my sour attitude. Looking forward to this next year with my loving husband and delightful babies.

Ella: I love you very much and I thank you for all the things and encouragement you have done you are the best mom ever!

Noah: two beautiful rainbows, a lot of hearts, and that's me at the bottom, peeking over a fence.

Hannah: That's her and I up at the top, and she's gotten really good at writing her name.

Sweet Nathan's little, plumpy hand.

Jeremy: I love my wife, I love my bride, she makes my heart feel warm inside. Her birthday is a special day, cause without her my life is grey. Her beauty is striking, we all can see, but it's her heart that makes me be.

It took quite a long time to light 31 candles. I think he actually burned his hand a few times.

Isn't it pretty?

This was during the blow-out. "Wow, mom has a lot of breath!"

This is how it looked after pulling off ALL those candles. Still looks kinda beautiful in an abstract way.

Mornings

Our mornings are deliciously slow. One of the beauties of homeschooling, is the ability for all of us to ease into our day. The Lord knows what He is doing. I would be a frazzled mess if I had to get all these kids fed, dressed and out the door by a certain time, making sure that no one forgot an assignment or project that’s due, lunch money, their back-packs or shoes.

One of our favorite easy and healthy breakfast treats are muffins. I crafted Strawberry-Orange Yogurt Muffins from a combination of a few recipes that weren’t quite right. They are soooo good, and relatively good for you. I use King Arthur’s White Whole Wheat Flour for all my baking. For a time I was using a combo of white flour and whole wheat flour, but this is even better. It has the exact same nutritious, whole grain content as 100% whole wheat, but with the light weight of white. It’s my favorite. Our local grocery store sells it for $2.99/5 lb bag, making it a lot cheaper than the $4.50 price online. Whatever flour you use, these are wonderfully yummy.

Click here for a printer friendly copy of the recipe.

So delicious, warm from the oven. And the crunchy sugar on top is the best!

What better way to learn the letter "k," than to be in your princess nightgown, wrapped in a warm blanket on a rainy morning, next to Mom?

All children are different, but mine seem to learn more effectively in a comfortable, cushy chair vs. rigidly sitting at the dining room table.

Ella is really happy with this ring, and wanted me to take a photo of it. It was my ring when I was her age. "Mom! It fits me perfectly!"

He was giggling. What a burst of brilliance he is for me. I will mourn the day when I can no longer continually kiss him without it being awkward.